nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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