I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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