so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
