I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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