Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize