OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
