Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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