Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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