I met the friendliest cop last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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