i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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