I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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