I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
