This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
