I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize