Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
