dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
