but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
