wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
