Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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