My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We are all done wearing pants today
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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