nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
