How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
