So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
