i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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