K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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