You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
