Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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