all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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