dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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