I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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