I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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