i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
