Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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