Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
