Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
