I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
