Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
