well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sober January is a disaster.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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