I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
where are you?
Hypothermia
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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