As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
