I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
