I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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