You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
