I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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