After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
