All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize