P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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