i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
