It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
