i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
