sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
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she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
we're so committed to being not committed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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