yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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