she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
