She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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