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Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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