operation harelip BJ is a go
found the other keg... it's in the tree
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
