I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
