Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?