yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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