He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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