dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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