Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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