i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize