More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
