we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
