Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
