but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
please come you make the beer taste better
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
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he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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