I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
