May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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