When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
