you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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