I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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