i just had sex bonerless
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
